Anti-Gay on Judgment Day

“Next, please.”

“Lord? Wow, is it really You? I can’t believe I’m finally meeting You in person! I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life! You know I was a preacher, right? Of course You do, You know everything.”

“Yes, I do. And I also know that you used your pulpit to stir up hate against anyone who wasn’t heterosexual.”

“That’s right, Lord. I was a faithful minister of Your word, and I hated everything You hate.”

“I see you brought your Bible with you. Why don’t you flip through the Gospels and see if you can find a single word about My hating anyone or anything? Go ahead. I’ll wait.”

“But it’s detestable in Your sight, right, Lord? Leviticus 20:13 clearly says that anyone who lies with a man as with a woman shall be put to death.”

“Impressive. Chapter and verse, and you didn’t even have to open your Bible. Since you know Scripture so well, you’ve also read the verses in Exodus and Numbers that said to stone to death anyone who did any work on the Sabbath. But in the Gospels, you saw that I shucked grain on the Sabbath rather than let My disciples go hungry. If you’ve read My story, you know that human laws were much less important to Me than human lives.”

“Lord, this is a fascinating discussion, but there’s a line behind me going on…well, forever, and I wouldn’t want to hold it up. So, where do I go to get measured for my halo?”

“Could you open your Bible to Matthew 7, and start reading at verse 21?”

“Okay, here we are: ‘Not everyone who calls me, “Lord, Lord,” will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only those who do my Father’s will…’ WHAT? Lord, what are You saying? That I didn’t do Your will?”

“My will, in one word, was LOVE. Love God, and love one another as I loved you, without judgment. Can you honestly say you did that?”

“Of course, Lord! I’ve always loved You! I loved the President You appointed to lead our nation, and never said a word of judgment against him, even when he cheated on…well, everything! I was always there for my congregation…”

“Did you feed the hungry, give water to the thirsty, clothe the naked, welcome the stranger, minister to the sick, and visit the prisoners? You lived near your country’s southern border, so you had plenty of opportunity to do all of those.”

“Are You talking about illegals? Lord, if I had given them food or water, I could have gone to jail!”

“Well, that would have been one way to visit the prisoners.”

“But surely You don’t mean those commandments applied to people who broke the law?”

“You still want to talk about the law? Love is the fulfillment of the law! In all your Bible reading, did you ever get as far as the first letter of John? Whoever claims to love God, but hates a fellow human being, is a liar. Anyone who hates is no different from a murderer, and no murderer has eternal life in him.”

“All right, Lord. I see one or two things that I could have done differently. But still, I believed in You! I did what I honestly thought You wanted me to do. So I can still get in, right?”

“That’s up to you. If you’re prepared to make a complete change of heart, it’s not too late. Or, if you prefer, you can go to a place where Trump will be president for all eternity.”

“Really? Wow! Yes, of course, that’s where I want to go! Thank you, Lord! How do I get there?”

“See that LONG stairway going down?”

Comments are closed.

Blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: